blog

How To Stop Retroactive Jealousy – A Practical Exercise

Featured In
by Jeff Billings in Retroactive Jealousy Blog
July 28, 2016
my wife's past bothers me

Want to know how to stop retroactive jealousy? Here’s a great hands-on exercise that can help you learn. It’s simple, but very effective: Observe your partner talking to someone they may find attractive, while also observing how you feel about it.

The reason why this is such a great way to learn how to stop retroactive jealousy is because retroactive jealousy ocd is linked to judgement.

To suffer from retroactive jealousy in a relationship is to some extent to suffer from a lack of trust in your relationship.

On some level you still believe they’re the same person they were before they met you:

The person who engaged in casual sex or was in love with someone else.

This is fueling a lack of trust on your part, which in turn is manifesting itself in judgment.

While observing your partner talking to someone else, however, you’ll learn how to stop retroactive jealousy by observing this judgement.

You’ll begin to realize:

  • You really have nothing to fear
  • You have nothing to be judgmental about
  • They are most certainly not the same person they were before they met you

HOW TO STOP RETROACTIVE JEALOUSY

How To Stop Retroactive Jealousy – A Practical Exercise

To do this, go to a bar, house party, or any kind of social function where you know your partner may be hit on by someone.

Rather than sticking to them like glue, deliberately engineer a situation in which it’s likely to happen.

Perhaps try engaging a group of guys or girls in conversation.

As you observe your partner talking to someone else, notice any negative thoughts and emotions arising within you.

A key part to learning how to stop retroactive jealousy is realizing that emotions can always be physically felt in the body.

Usually in the stomach, chest or temples.

So actively become aware of them wherever they’re arising, and just let them be.

You can even say something to yourself like, “There I go again, getting all emotional…

The trick is to not act on these emotions but to just observe them, and this will lessen their intensity.

Repeat This Exercise More Than Once

Monitor your jealousy levels by repeating this exercise more than once.

You might find that the first time you’ll be filled with negative emotions, but by the fifth time you’ll hardly care at all.

In other words, the more you practice simply observing your emotions in these situations, the easier it is to learn to trust your partner and consequently stop being so judgmental about their past.

For more ways to learn how to stop retroactive jealousy check out my downloadable course “Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy 101”.

HOW TO STOP RETROACTIVE JEALOUSY

This course details what actions you need to take every single day to finally find the retroactive jealousy cure.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.