How To Accept A Girlfriend’s Sexual Past With Black Guys

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by Jeff Billings in Retroactive Jealousy Blog
August 4, 2016

Are you struggling to learn how to accept a girlfriend’s sexual past? And is this because you’ve discovered that she once enjoyed sex with black guys?

Look, I get it. This isn’t coming from a racist perspective.

Rather it’s coming from one that imagines black guys are “better endowed” than other races.

It’s a myth, but there’s a general stereotype that black guys are “well-hung”, athletic and great in bed.

Believing that your girlfriend once enjoyed sex with a black adonis can cause problems.

It can cause many guys great anxiety and lead to trouble learning how to beat retroactive jealousy.

How To Accept A Girlfriend’s Sexual Past With Anyone, Not Just Black Guys

Learning that your girlfriend’s past includes guys who may have been “better built” than you, is making you feel insecure.

Concerns over an ex-lover’s penis size or sexual performance are born directly out of a lack of confidence.

A Quick Test

Here’s what I want you to do.

Close your eyes and imagine for a moment that you’re a super confident individual.

  • Imagine you’re fully comfortable with public speaking. Perfectly able to give a speech in front of hundreds of people.
  • Imagine you’re super witty, charming and have loads of friends.
  • Imagine you’re filthy rich with properties all over the world in New York, Paris and Sydney.
  • Imagine your body’s amazing. You’re all lean muscle without an ounce of fat.

Now while picturing yourself as this person, try to imagine struggling to learn how to accept a girlfriend’s past.

Is it possible to simultaneously jealous and super confident?

Now, I’m not saying that you don’t have all or some of the qualities above.

I’m saying it’s pretty hard to be preoccupied with “guys with a big penis” if you’re 100% confident.

If you were fully confident, would you still feel jealous when you think about these past guys?

Do you think a ripped model cares about who his girlfriend once slept with?

Or someone like David Wygant. Or George Clooney?

Probably not.

This is the key to learning how to cure retroactive jealousy ocd.

Learning How To Accept A Girlfriend’s Sexual Past Is All About Learning How To Love Yourself

The problem is not because you’ve learnt that this guy was black.

That he had a better body than you.

Or bigger penis.

The problem is you’re interpreting the situation in a negative way.

And you’re doing this by imagining your girlfriend had a better time with him in the past than with you.

And the reason why you’re doing this is because you lack self-belief in yourself.


Let me know in the comments section below if you’re struggling to learn how to accept a girlfriend’s sexual past.

Did she once date black guys and this is making you feel insecure?

If you’d like more information on how to accept a girlfriend’s past please take a look at my book on jealousy about the past “How To Stop Being Jealous Of Your Partner’s Past In 12 Steps”.

I also have a jealousy course “Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy 101” and feel free to drop me a line if you have any questions about either.

1 Comment
  1. RJC says:

    Ok, first thank you for your article. I am in this position. It’s hard for me because it just seems to pop up on TV like the Big Bang Theory last night. It’s not that a African American is well endowed I get over that. A better built body, I don’t care about that. My problem is that he ended up being the stereotype: he was the best she ever had. I should not have asked the question but I did and she answered. It’s now how to figure if I could measure up – ever.

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