Why does she point out every man she slept with?

Featured In
by Jeff Billings in Retroactive Jealousy Stories
January 5, 2017
retroactive jealousy

Author: Frankie (22) from the UK, in a committed relationship with his girlfriend (20) for 2 months

Number of his sexual partners: 3

Number of her sexual partners: 10+

How much time a day do you spend thinking about your partner’s past? 
Enough to make me feel a bit shit

How did you find out about your partner’s past?
Conversations with her friends and her, just talking casually.

Have you talked to your girlfriend about your retroactive jealousy and if so what happens? 
When I first found out I went quiet and then she took offence and basically told me to get over it, but in a more roundabout way.

Tell us what exactly you’re jealous about in her past? 
We dated before, six months last year and it didn’t work out because she basically cheated on her ex with me, and then she had sex with me and was still seeing her ex for a bit.

Without meaning to sound cruel, but she is not good at doing what she wants to do and feels she has to please everyone.

Anyway, she left me in the end after what has got to be one of the most straining things I’ve ever experienced. I was upset, I didn’t want to talk to her because I loved her still. She wanted to be friends but I thought there was no point to even try.

Anyway a bit later I was seeing someone new for a while, but I ended up breaking up with her due to different wants in life.

After the breakup, I bumped into my ex again and we got talking and went out to see a film. It was nice to see the real her again. That night, we end up sleeping together, and then end up being really happy together again, which was great.

I knew she had a relationship and everything but that didn’t bother me, but then I found out she’d slept with one of her housemates too.

In a conversation with her and her friend I found out something along the lines of: “I enjoyed my slutty days.”

Okay so she’s slept with a few others, no big deal, even if it did make me a bit awkward at the time.

What bugs you the most about your partner’s past? 
She uses any chance she can get to remind me who she had sex with in the past. For example, we passed someone on the street the other day, who I swear didn’t even look at us and she said to me: “That was awkward, I slept with him and he was an arsehole.”

She knows exactly I don’t want to discuss this, I just want to get on with us, which other than this is going extremely well, so why does she feel the need to point out every man she slept with and share disgusting details about their past sex life with me?

I haven’t ever asked but from what I can tell it’s got to be at least ten people, I don’t want to walk with her around the area and be told every time she sees one of them. Is that wrong?

Is your partner still in contact with her ex-lovers? 
No, apart from the housemate but that isn’t anything major, they have different lives.

Is there anything else you’d like to share? Fire away! 
I ain’t a prude I know it doesn’t matter that she’s slept with people but I just find it hard to stomach when it’s brought up in such a way, and yet she expects me to be fine with it.

Feel like getting your retroactive jealousy off your chest? Great! Share your story here.

Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy OCD

  1. Goldie says:

    Women secretly want to punish men. Could be subconscious but they love rubbing out noses in their dirty past.

  2. Steve says:

    First off I feel you man. Exact same thing happens to me.

  3. Jack says:

    Hang in there buddy. I’ve had almost the exact same experience.

  4. VK says:

    I know exactly where you’re coming from mate. Women…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *