Retroactive Jealousy In Men: How To Overcome It

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by Jeff Billings in Retroactive Jealousy Blog
March 9, 2014

In this post I want to tackle why men get jealous in a relationship. Retroactive jealousy in men tends to manifest itself in repetitive thoughts and images about their wife or girlfriend’s sexual past… I was once one of those jealous men, and I can show you how to overcome it.

Signs of retroactive jealousy in men about their girlfriend’s sexual past

Left unchecked, this kind of retrospective jealousy can often spiral out of control and even turn your partner off to the extent that they leave you.

So, in this post I’m going to focus on dealing with retroactive jealousy in men. (For some reason, us men seem to fall victim to the scourge of being plagued by our wives or girlfriend’s sexual past easier than women).

If you’re a man and you’re all hung up on how many guys your girl has slept with, how many one night stands she’s had, whether she’s had a threesome or not etc. you really need to get a grip on this.

Overcoming retroactive jealousy in men is not easy, but these feelings CAN be conquered

In my book on dealing with retroactive jealousy, The Ultimate Retroactive Jealousy Cure: How To Stop Being Jealous Of Your Partner’s Past in 12 Steps, one of the steps is called “Their Life, Their Choice” and talks about how sex really is one of the most natural and basic activities that we humans engage in.

And yet such a big deal is made about it. Especially women’s sexuality.

One of the primary reasons why we hear a lot about retroactive jealousy in men is because us men have been socially conditioned to view women who enjoy sex as “sluts” while men who enjoy sex are “studs.”

So next time you start feeling all judgmental toward your girlfriend for having enjoyed X amount of sexual activity in the past, just remember, it’s really society’s opinion that you’re voicing, not your own.

If we lived in a society that didn’t view women’s sexuality as any different from men’s you wouldn’t feel the same way.


A take on men and jealousy about sex by Owen Cook of Real Social Dynamics

I go into detail in my book on how to this, but in the meantime you should also check out this video by Owen Cook from Real Social Dynamics.

Okay, so the headline’s a little crass, but it really hits the nail on the head when it comes to re-adjusting your mind to the fact that women are entitled to enjoy sex just as much as men.

It’s basically a tell-it-as-it-is polemic against societal judgements and just enjoying the moment with your girl, because the fact is she loves you and couldn’t care less about who she slept with in the past.

Watching this video will help, but don’t expect it to cure your retroactive jealousy disorder overnight.

Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy in men takes more work than watching a fifteen minute video I’m afraid; and I tell you exactly what work needs to be done in my book.

For now though, I hope you enjoy the video. You will find it along with many other great videos in the Bonus Resources that come with the book if you so choose to buy it.

Thanks for reading! Let me know in the comments section below how you feel about your girlfriend or wife maybe having slept with a “large” number of guys.


Do you agree that our perceptions of women’s sexuality is merely a social construct? Or do you think that’s bullshit and women should conduct themselves sexually with more restrain than men? How far along are you in learning how to deal with retroactive jealousy? Have you found a retroactive jealousy cure, by yourself or with the help of my book? Let me know in the comments section below. 

To stop being one of those jealous men and learn how to stop feeling destructive jealous emotions, click on the button below to purchase my book “The Ultimate Retroactive Jealousy Cure: How To Stop Being Jealous Of Your Partner’s Past in 12 Steps“.



— Jeff



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