How to Get Over Your Girlfriend’s Past Relationships

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by Jeff Billings in Uncategorized
August 13, 2015

Still struggling with how to get over your girlfriend’s past relationships? Let’s take a look at this email I received recently from Alan (not his real name) who’s suffering from retroactive jealousy over his girlfriend’s past sex life. Here’s Alan’s situation first and after it you can read my response. 

Alan’s email about his girlfriend’s past sex life

I’ve recently started a relationship with a girl from my past. We had a mild flirtation nearly 20 years ago but never slept together. However, she was quite promiscuous and I knew that. It’s just that this continued until we got together in March this year and now I can’t stop thinking about my girlfriend’s sexual past. I’m hardly pure myself and have had many sexual partners. She tends to get jealous of stories relating to my ex’s whereas her ex’s don’t bother me, it’s the one night stands. I didn’t want this, but now I’m just so jealous of my girlfriend’s past. 

We just got engaged a few weeks ago and we have discovered she is pregnant now too. We live together now and both have a child from our previous long term relationships. I know she loves me wholeheartedly and I love her equally. We have a fantastic sex life and for me it’s the best sex I’ve ever had and she agrees. I believe it to be down to both of us being very experienced and open about our wants, needs and desires that coupled with the realisation that we are truly in love with one another.

The problem for me is when we were lying in bed after making love the other day she informed me that she had both had sex with a taxi driver years ago to get off a fare and that in the last year, before we hooked up, she performed oral sex on a taxi driver in his 60’s to get home. I actually felt quite sick at the thought of the recent one.

My partner is a beautiful looking girl (well I think so) and she should never have had to resort to this level. She was wasted I know, but for some reason it keeps playing on my mind. I did say to her I wish you hadn’t told me that, she did apologise and was remorseful about it. The taxi driver took a shine to her after this and she had to set him straight. I think I’m more jealous about the fact she put herself at risk rather than anything else.

I just feel consumed by this. Today in particular as I didn’t really sleep well last night and my mind is wandering all over the place. I was sitting at traffic lights and got the image of her with this 60 year old man in my head. We are both 36. I used to be fat when we met too, so I have this thing of not being good enough for her too. I have lost 3 stone since the start of the year and feel and look great. She compliments me daily and motivates me daily.

I have loved this girl for years and I don’t want my girlfriend’s sexual past to be an issue between us. My past as I say isn’t exactly pure. I would have slept with anyone, I really wasn’t fussy as long as I got sex. So it’s total double standards on my part too. I just want to stop being jealous of my girlfriend’s past! 


How to get over your girlfriend’s past relationships – my response

Thanks so much for getting in touch Alan. I know this must be a tough period you’re going through now, but believe me — things will get better!

Now let’s take a look at how to get over your girlfriend’s past sex life.

Firstly, I’m really not sure why your girlfriend thought it’d be a good idea to tell you about what happened in her past with these cab drivers. It’s really no wonder so many people end up suffering from retroactive jealousy when their partner’s feel the need to come out with things like this.

I would love to give you all the advice I can here to help but 1. that would be a very long blog post, and 2. there wouldn’t be any info left to discover in my course Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy 101.

I apologize for the shameless plug, but the mind hacks and practical exercises outlined in this course will really put these images of your girlfriend’s past sex life exploits with these cab drivers out of your head for good.

I will say that the reason you’re upset about these events in your girlfriend’s past is because they represent your worst fear — that she will cheat on you in the present. And this could well be in part due to a lack of confidence on your part.

You mention you used to be overweight, and in the course I detail exactly how a lack of self-confidence can lead to endless rumination over our boy or girlfriend’s past and how to gain more confidence in yourself and your relationship.

I also go into great detail as to how both fear and judgement hijack the mind to make us worry endlessly about a boy or girlfriend’s past sex life and how to get over both of them.

I have recently added a new 25 minute guided mediation, specially tailored to help overcome retroactive jealousy. This has already started helping people tremendously in their fight to get over their boy or girlfriend’s past sex lives, and I’m sure it’d do the same for you.

You’ve taken the right step by reaching out, Alan. Now you just need to put in the work — and I show you exactly what work that should be in my course Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy 101.

To learn how to get over your girlfriend’s past relationships, (or boyfriend’s, wife’s or husband’s) click on the banner below to purchase my course.


— Jeff

  1. joseph says:

    I personally went through break up when my ex ran off with another man. But
    a short time later, I met a new lady who was ten times better. Still, I feel very jealous in my current relationships because she keeps mentioning her ex.

  2. Winston says:

    thanks Jeff, It’s so good to know I’m not alone in this.

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