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Retroactive Jealousy or Different Values?

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by Jeff Billings in Retroactive Jealousy Stories
January 31, 2020
Retroactive jealousy

Author: Richard (49) from England, in a committed 2 year relationship with his girlfriend (45)

Number of his sexual partners: 2

Number of her sexual partners: 30

How long have you suffered from retroactive jealousy?
2 years

How much time a day do you spend thinking about your partner’s past?
2 hours per day on average

How did you find out about your partner’s past?
Her attitude to and experience of sex was immediately apparent from the things she said, did and asked. I began to wonder and eventually was driven to ask her questions which for a while became obsessive. Now I am too disgusted to want to find out any more.

Have you talked to them about your retroactive jealousy and if so what happens?
Yes, she understands to a point but thinks I should just get over it.

What bugs you the most about your partner’s past?
1. The sheer number!
2. The casual nature of many of them
3. The level of experimentation
4. The thought of her being used and ‘filled’ by multiple men

Is your partner still in contact with their ex-lover(s) or does your partner contact them?
Yes, she lives next door to her ex husband

If you could get one image out of your head regarding your partner’s past, what would it be?
Her giving oral sex

Is there anything else you’d like to share? Fire away!
I have purchased and got half way through Zachary Stockill’s RJ self help course, but it was useless. The biggest challenge I have is knowing whether I am doomed to fail because my sense of sexual morality is so far out of kilter with my girlfriend’s. Is there any point?
I suspect if I were to date a woman with far fewer historic partners it would be much easier. I have no problem with what I describe as ‘legitimate relationships’. I do have a massive issue with 30 men screwing my girl, many of them just using her for casual pleasure.

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