The repetitive and unwanted thoughts and images of your partner being with a past lover can be thought of as a form of Retroactive Jealousy OCD, or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder of the mind.
As influential author and speaker Eckhart Tolle observes, your repetitive thoughts seem to be controlling you, rather than the other way around.
You may have heard of this type of thinking pattern being referred to as a form of OCD, or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
Obsessive–compulsive disorder (OCD) is broadly defined as “an anxiety disorder characterized by intrusive thoughts that produce uneasiness, apprehension, fear, or worry; by repetitive behaviors aimed at reducing the associated anxiety; or by a combination of such obsessions and compulsions.”
So, OCD comes in many forms, and repetitive thoughts about our partner’s past love lives are just one aspect of it.
For the sufferer of Retroactive Jealousy OCD, this involves the mind constantly flinging up “mini movies” or “photos” of your partner together with another man or woman. Over and over and over again.
The self knowledge that these thoughts are irrational only serves to make you feel even worse.
You know it’s stupid and you shouldn’t be thinking about it, which makes it that much more painful as you try and force yourself to stop.
But as they say “Resistance breeds persistence .”
Trying to stop thinking about this only makes you think about it even more, as your mind descends into a “don’t think about a pink elephant” type war with itself. And then of course all you can think about are pink elephants.
The thoughts are then subsequently given even more power, making the emotions even more negative toward your partner’s past (and yourself).
The funny thing is, these thoughts are almost certainly not even accurate.
They’re just manifestations within an insecure mind that knows nothing of what really happened, but wants to assume the worst.
How do you know that they had such a great time in Paris? How do you know what the sex was like on that one night stand? Were you hiding in the closet watching?
Your mind wants to paint a picture of an insanely hot session involving your partner and their ex, or on an idyllic holiday of a lifetime with them, but the reality was maybe very different.
In short your Retroactive Jealousy OCD is just your mind playing tricks on you.
It is the ego trying to protect itself from a possibly dangerous situation.
For a full understanding of why your mind behaves this way, please take a look at the first four steps in my book “How To Stop Being Jealous Of Your Partner’s Past In 12 Steps.”
The next eight steps go from understanding Retroactive Jealousy OCD, to how to rewire the mind to stop it from thinking this way, before finally showing you four practical hands-on methods to kill your jealous thoughts once and for all.
Do you suffer from Retroactive Jealousy OCD? Constant repetitive thoughts and images about your partner’s past? If so what are they like? Photos? Movies? How often do they repeat?
I’ll answer any questions you have in the comments section below.