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How To Overcome Jealousy In A Relationship: A New Mind Hack

 

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by Jeff Billings in Uncategorized
June 3, 2015

If you’re struggling with irrational jealous thoughts about your boy or girlfriend’s sexual past, otherwise known as retrospective jealousy keep reading for a great little tip on how to get over it. If you want to know how to overcome jealousy in a relationship, keep reading. 

Here’s a great little tip for how to overcome jealousy in a relationship

Note: this is not a straight out retroactive jealousy cure, but it will relieve some of the pain. Here’s what you do:

1. Sit down somewhere quiet where you won’t be disturbed for about twenty minutes and, as though you’re meditating, take a few deep breaths.

2. Begin to think again about your partner’s past. Think about the men or women they slept with or had a relationship with. Let all your thoughts center on their past, and notice your growing feelings of nausea, anger, fear, judgement, and jealousy.

Try to work out what it is exactly you’re feeling and why you’re feeling it. You should soon find yourself become trapped in a frustrating wormhole of over-thinking, but unable to find the answer. Remain like this for a good five to ten minutes.

3. Now, while holding on to these feelings, slowly become aware of the fact that, in this present moment, you’re not being a very nice person.

It doesn’t matter if you’re a nice person in general — the fact is, to suffer from retroactive jealousy means you’re not being a very nice person in respect to your partner.

It means you’re probably being pretty hypocritical, prudish, disrespectful, and also just plain unfair.

How to overcome jealousy in a relationship by becoming a nicer person

Forget for a moment all the other ways of overcoming retroactive jealousy, and focus solely on you and your shortcomings as a partner in this respect.

Think about how unkind you’re being by holding on to this negative attitude. Because when it comes down to it, that’s all retroactive jealousy ocd is — a negative attitude.

Your retrospective jealousy may have its roots in evolution, the ego, a lack of confidence, fear and so on, but ultimately these repetitive thoughts and emotions going around in your head can only exist because your mind’s trapped in a state of negativity toward your partner. Is this really what they deserve?

 

You should feel your retroactive jealousy disorder begin to lift

I’ve always believed that we should all strive to be the best versions of ourselves we can possibly be. And so when I realized I was, frankly, being something of jerk toward my girlfriend by harboring these negative thoughts and emotions, I finally started on the road toward overcoming retroactive jealousy.

I now feel like I know myself a lot better than I did before this all began. And I hope you see this too as an opportunity to grow and begin to love your partner and everything about them in a way they deserve. it’s time to grow

When it comes to retrograde jealousy over past sexual encounters, your mind is, in a way, telling you it’s time to grow as a person.

As we grow older, we all look back on things we did when we were younger and think, “Why did I do that? What was I thinking?”

Well, retroactive jealousy should be one of those things. We should all strive to be the best version of ourselves we can be, but if you’re hanging on to judgmental feelings about your partner’s past sex life, you’ve still got work to do in this area.

This is one of the best things you can do, right now, to learn how to overcome retroactive jealousy.

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Do you think this is a good technique for learning how to overcome jealousy in a relationship? Has it helped you with your retroactive jealousy ocd? Let me know in the comments section below. And of course don’t forget to check out my book How To Stop Being Jealous Of Your Partner’s Past In 12 Steps* if you haven’t already. In it, I detail a step-by-step action plan for overcoming retroactive jealousy — the smart way!

To learn more on overcoming retroactive jealousy and generally how to overcome jealousy in relationships, click on the button below to purchase my book “How To Stop Being Jealous Of Your Partner’s Past In 12 Steps.”

 

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Onward! 

— Jeff

3 Comments
  1. Laura says:

    In all of my research regarding dealing with retroactive jealousy none of it helps control my trigger. I am jealous of my significant others past life bc it continues to follow him. How can I let it go and not be jealous when the product of his love with his ex comes to live with me every other week? Please help… I know Im driving him away and i cant stop…

  2. Eddie says:

    How to get over RJ: dump the bitch!

  3. Kathy says:

    I always spend 20 minutes every morning lying around thinking about my boyfriend’s past. With your help though Jeff I think I can crack this.

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