Author: Caveman (54), male, United States, is in a committed relationship with his girlfriend (57) for 2 years.
Number of his sexual partners:
Number of her sexual partners:
How long have you suffered from retroactive jealousy?
About three months.
How much time a day do you spend thinking about your partner’s past?
About an hour a day.
How did you find out about your partner’s past?
She told stories of past lovers, so I finally asked her number.
Have you talked to her about your retroactive jealousy and if so what happens?
Yes. She is very understanding.
Tell us what exactly you’re jealous about in their past?
Mostly her experience. Not just sexually, but overall. She was married for five years but otherwise in relationships and when not she had lots of sex. In contrast, I met my ex-wife at 19 and was married for 25 years.
What bugs you the most about your partner’s past?
How many partners she has had. Total of 24 plus me. It seems, especially in college, it didn’t take much to get her into bed.
- She slept with a professor.
- She has cheated on her ex husband.
- Slept with a friend’s boyfriend when the friend trusted her.
- Had a two year relationship with a married man where he would come over to her place for sex and that was the entire relationship.
- She lost her virginity at 15 to a 21 year old man and sees no problem with that.
So, I guess just our different upbringings. She was taught by her “hippie” parents that sex was pleasurable and could be enjoyed freely, whereas I didn’t get much from my parents, but guess I got my ideas from “society”. LADIES don’t do that!
Is your partner still in contact with their ex-lover(s) or does your partner contact them?
She is still in touch with one. The 21 year old who took her virginity at age 15.
If you could get one image out of your head regarding your partner’s past, what would it be?
Sex with the big, hairy, bearded hippie in his art studio.
Is there anything else you’d like to share? Fire away!
I know my jealousy is not at all logical, it’s totally emotion. I consider myself a logical person, so it bugs the crap out of me!
Feel like getting your retroactive jealousy off your chest? Great! Share your story here.