Author: Jessie (24), female, from England, is in a committed relationship for 1 year and 2 months with her boyfriend (25).
How long have you suffered from retroactive jealousy?
My whole life.
How much time a day do you spend thinking about your partner’s past?
How did you find out about your partner’s past?
He has confessional ocd and blurted it all out to me suddenly one day.
Have you talked to them about your retroactive jealousy and if so what happens?
He understands but doesn’t like it when I get angry and nasty and ask questions.
Tell us what exactly you’re jealous about in their past?
He told me he got a girl pregnant at university when he was a teenager.
She got rid of it. She was a druggy and alcoholic.
My partner told me he did drugs at uni too.
I’m the most anti drugs person you will ever meet, I also am against abortion and I just can’t believe how irresponsible and stupid he was and how he had no morals at all.
What bothers me is that if one day we have a baby I will be the second girl he gets pregnant not the first. And until now I thought it was going to be a first for us both. That hurts.
Also I can’t help thinking I deserve someone who’s more in line with my morals, anti drugs, sensible, has standards etc.
My partner no longer does drugs but I hate the fact that he did and his drug past and accidental pregnancy bothers me so much to the point of extreme anger.
I can’t controll my thoughts and feel constantly tortured, almost every other day I suffer from retroactive jealousy ocd and he doesn’t have anything to bother him as I didn’t tell him my past because I think it’s hurtful and nasty to share my past sexual history with him. But it seems unfair that I have to go through this. We had a great relationship before he shared these things with me. And I was happy before, now I’m angry , sad and anxious.
What bugs you the most about your partner’s past?
Having gotten someone pregnant before. And her abortion which I am against.
Having had sex with a druggy/alcoholic , indicating low standards and no morals.
Having taken class A drugs which I am against.
Have you ever snooped through your partner’s personal belongings off or online?
Is your partner still in contact with their ex-lover(s) or does your partner contact them?
Have you met your partner’s ex-lover(s) and if so what happened?
If you could get one image out of your head regarding your partner’s past, what would it be?
Getting his ex druggy alcoholic gf pregnant!
Feel like getting your retroactive jealousy off your chest? Great! Share your story here.